


And then, there you were

by Ciprus



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Vanity Fest, Vanity Fest 2018
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2019-09-27 21:13:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17169509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ciprus/pseuds/Ciprus
Summary: Chas and Paddy are getting married just after Christmas, and as the only single guests at this location wedding, Charity and Vanessa are forced to share a room.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tigerlo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerlo/gifts).



> Written for Vanity Festive 2018. Also a belated Christmas present for my dear friend @tigerlo. This is an AU where the cellar kiss never happened. I’ve taken a few other liberties with canon to suit my story, as you’ll probably notice. Hope you’ll enjoy the ride!

Charity squirms uncomfortably, cramped between Sam and Lydia in the back of the Dingle van. She is deeply regretting not riding in her own car. 

 

Lydia hasn’t drawn breath for the last hour and a half and Charity’s patience is spreading awfully thin. Everyone is cheerily prattling on alongside Lydia, but Charity stopped answering quite a while ago. Not that anyone has noticed, thankfully.

 

They’re all buzzing with excitement, but Charity’s in a dark mood. Has been for months. The worst of it started when Joe Tate turned up and tried to ruin the life of everyone that mattered to her, only to take both Debbie and Noah under his spell. Now he’s let them down again. Debbie is heartbroken just as Sarah is out of the hospital, and Noah has been brooding since Joe up and left without a word. He’s moved back in with Charity at the pub again, but she knows he doesn’t really want to be there, with her. He’s still waiting for saint Joe to return and save him, despite everything.

 

Ross taking Moses to Liverpool had been the icing on the cake. Her steps have felt especially heavy since then.

 

She still went through the motions to make a decent Christmas for the rest of the family, splashing out on expensive gifts for Noah and barely getting a nod of thanks. They’d spent Christmas Day up at Wishing Well and at least the kids had seemed happy enough, with Lisa back and saving Christmas for everyone. Charity had even managed to smile herself through a facetime-session with Moses who babbled happily about all the presents Santa had brought him.

 

Most of them had been from Charity, she’d been trying to soothe her conscience for not being able to see him. To let him know she still cared. Not that it mattered when Ross had told him all the gifts were from bloody Santa and not his mum.

 

Charity closes her eyes and hopes she’ll be able to sleep for a few minutes before they arrive.

 

She is not in a festive mood and doesn’t quite understand why Chas and Paddy insisted on having their wedding at some location in the middle of flipping nowhere when there are plenty of barns and churches nearby they could have used. 

 

It’s not as if she begrudges Chas her happiness. She really doesn’t. There is just  _ so much _ of it and no where for Charity to escape it.

 

The pub practically is bubbling with it. Chas and Paddy really are disgustingly happy together, and the birth of Grace has elevated Chas into some state of perfect serene motherhood that Charity both loathes and envies.

 

There’s a new kind of sigh Chas lets out when Charity is chasing Moses around the back room, unable to get him to sit still for a second so she can wipe his runny nose. It’s not just the usual exasperation at Charity’s inability to keep things less than chaotic; it’s a new superiority there that sets Charity’s teeth on edge. 

 

Because Chas has changed. She has taken all that she did wrong with Aaron and changed to do better for Grace. She is doing a great job of it so far. Grace is gorgeous and lively and Chas is thriving. Whereas Charity just keeps repeating the same mistakes over and over again, just with new kids. It’s like she is stuck in a hamster wheel of failure, and living with Chas and her new perfect family is just reminding her of how much her own life is lacking.

 

”Oh, it’s lovely isn’t it?” Lydia coos and startles Charity out of her thoughts.

 

”It’s beautiful!” Belle agrees.

 

”Finally," Charity sighs, as they arrive at their destination.

 

Faith is standing in the front yard of a low row of cottages. They look like they are several hundred years old. It’s an ancient inn, right at the edge of a dark forest. It’s covered in snow and tastefully placed Christmas lights making it glow invitingly in the dusky light of the afternoon. It doesn’t look like quite the exclusive location Faith had promised beforehand, but Charity supposes it will do.

 

”Welcome everyone!” Faith exclaims in that overly chirpy voice she uses when she’s trying way too hard. ”Refreshments are inside by the bar, and you can start by checking yourselves in to your rooms.”

 

Charity breathes a sigh of relief. If she can get a few minutes on her own, and then get plastered, that would certainly help her day improve.

 

There’s a throng of Dingles already gathering at the tiny front desk. Cain and Moira with their brats, Marlon, Jessie and April, Robert, Aaron and Liv… Everyone is crowding the old lady in charge, who doesn’t seem the least bit rushed by the cacophony. Faith is running around like a hyped up travel coordinator on speed, trying to help out but undoubtedly only making things worse.

 

Charity closes her eyes again, willing them all to go away. She just needs to be alone.

 

”Um, excuse me, Faith?”

 

Charity hears the voice of Vanessa Woodfield floating up from behind her.

 

”Yes, love?”

 

”I was supposed to share a room with Pearl. She’s at home with a chest cold.”

 

”Ah, yes I heard. Well, don’t you worry, you’ll be sharing with Charity here instead," Faith says, patting Charity’s arm.

 

It takes a second for the words to reach Charity’s brain but then they do.

 

”I’m sorry,  _ what? _ ” Charity hisses and fixes Faith with what she hopes is a  _ very _ intimidating glare.

 

”It’ll save the happy couple a few quid, and I thought you two wouldn’t mind sharing since you’re both on your own," Faith says like it’s to most natural thing in the world.

 

”Did you.” If looks could kill, Faith would be going up in smoke right now. ”Well, we  _ do _ mind. Don’t we, Vanessa?”

 

”I don’t want to be any trouble—” Vanessa stutters, obviously to bloody polite to complain.

 

”Well, I do. I want a  _ single _ room. Seeing as I am a  _ single _ woman, just like Vanessa here.”

 

”I’m sorry, love. You’ll have to share. They’re fully booked now, anyway.”

 

”Brilliant," Charity growls.

 

”Oh come on, it’ll be fun! Like a proper girls sleep over!” Faith bumps shoulders with Vanessa, who smiles uncomfortably. Charity just glares harder.

 

”We’ll survive," Vanessa sighs. ”I will, anyway.”

 

”Don’t be too sure," Moira pipes up with a smirk, clearly having listened in on the whole conversation. Charity throws her a dirty look, which only serves to make Moira snicker.

 

Faith gives Vanessa a grateful pat on the arm, hands her the key and scurries away.

 

”Just because we’re the only single people at this bloody wedding doesn’t mean you can treat us like second class guests, you know!” Charity calls after her. ”It’s discrimination, or whatever.”

 

Vanessa smiles slightly. ”Planning to sue, are you?”

 

—

 

The room is tiny.

 

The bed is too small even for two people who have chosen to share it, and there’s nothing else to sleep on but two small chairs in a corner. Charity throws herself in one of them as soon as she comes through the door. So much for solitude.

 

Vanessa quietly unpacks her bag. Everything in it is neatly folded, and she hangs it up in the small wardrobe by the door just as neatly. 

 

”There’s room for your things in there as well," she says.

 

”Great," Charity snipes.

 

Vanessa rolls her eyes. ”Look, I’ll go in the bathroom and get ready, and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

 

The door clicks shut and Charity stares at the ceiling. There’s flowers and deer painted there, faded by age. She looks around. If she’d been inclined to gush about decor and such, she would have thought the room was cosy in a rustic kind of way. She bets Vanessa thinks so. She seems to be the kind of person who’s into things like that.

 

Charity drags herself out of the chair to find the mini bar, and fishes out a bottle of white wine. There are two glasses on the table, and it seems like the right thing to do to fill them both. Occupational hazard, or something.

 

Charity slowly sips her wine, brooding over the state of things.

 

Vanessa emerges from the bathroom so suddenly she almost startles Charity. She’s scrubbed up nicely, wearing a fitted black dress and her hair done up loosely above her shoulders. Charity causally notes the plunging neckline.

 

”Right, well, I’d better—”

 

”There’s a glass of wine," Charity states, gesturing towards the table. ”If you want one.”

 

Vanessa hesitates for a moment. ”I do. Ta.”

 

”I promise I didn’t poison it," Charity says, looking pointedly at Vanessa.

 

Vanessa’s eyebrow quirks as she takes a swig. ”You sure?” she teases. ”Not quite  _ that _ keen to get rid of me, then.” 

 

Charity rolls her eyes. ”It’s not actually you. I’m just not good at sharing my space with anyone. And girly sleepovers where we braid each other’s hair and share the latest goss is so not my thing.”

 

”Why would you assume it’s mine?”

 

”Well, you’re one of those girls, aren’t you.”

 

Vanessa frowns.

 

”You know, perfect cheery types who have loads of friends and spend your time talking about boy trouble and the latest shade of nail polish.”

 

Vanessa chuckles. ”I don’t think I’ve ever had a conversation about nail polish in my entire life. Had my fair share of boy trouble, though.”

 

”Haven’t we all. See, that was not an invite for girl talk, alright?”

 

Vanessa shakes her head, looking faintly amused. ”Point taken.” She chugs the glass of wine. Charity is actually a bit impressed with how fast she can neck it without taking a breath. ”Thanks for the wine. I’ll leave you to it.” 

 

_ To what? _ Charity almost asks, but that would sound pitiful, and she’s  _ not _ . 

 

Just like that, Vanessa is gone. Charity can’t blame her for not wanting to hang around. Most feel the same where Charity’s concerned. She takes a large gulp of the wine. She considers staying in the room and necking the whole bottle and then some, but there is that combined hen and stag do tonight, and she really should make an appearance or she’ll never hear the end of it.

 

Or no one will even notice she’s not there, which would be even worse.

 

Charity doesn’t know when it happened that she could feel so completely alone in a room with her own family. Maybe it was always like that and she never allowed herself to notice before. She feels misplaced, she has her whole life to some degree, but it’s grown worse in the last few months with everyone fawning over Joe despite everything and telling her Moses is basically better off without her.

  
She swallows hard at the lump forming in her throat. She downs the last of the wine in her glass and gets out of the chair with a grunt. She knows better than to let the feeling take hold.  _ Don’t stop and think _ , she tells herself.  _ Just keep on moving. _

 

_—_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charity and Vanessa team up at the combined stag and hen do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always think I'll get a ton of writing done over Christmas and I never do. Anyway, here's the second chapter. Happy New Year, all! :)

When Charity finds her way downstairs to the dining room, Kyle, Leo and April are chasing each other across the floor, while Faith tries to gather everyone’s attention. She finally manages to get them all to quiet down enough for her to introduce the bride and groom to cheers and applause. Chas is smiling with Grace on her arm, while Paddy waves awkwardly to the crowd of friends and family.

 

”Since there are children present, this will be a family do,” Faith declares, waggling a finger at Uncle Zak.

 

”Boo!” yells Sam, earning an elbow from Lydia. Everyone laughs, the loud noise making baby Grace flinch and her lip start to quiver. Chas bounces her in her in her arms and interrupts the impending cry.

 

”So,” Faith continues, ”if you’d all please divide yourselves into your couples. The fun is about to start!”

 

Charity groans internally. That’s flipping perfect. She is already regretting leaving her room to make an appearance. Everyone other than Charity stand next to their significant other, and she starts to look for escape routes. Faith circles the room, overseeing everything like an overattentive hawk.

 

Charity slowly backs away towards the door, but just as she is about to slink out, Faith catches her by the arm. ”Don’t be a wallflower, Charity! Go stand with Vanessa!” Faith practically drags Charity towards the corner where Vanessa is sat next to Rhona and Pete. Vanessa smiles tightly and stands up beside Charity.

 

”How is it possible that woman is even _more_ annoying than usual?” Charity hisses through gritted teeth. ”Chas must have lost her mind, putting her in charge of this.”

 

”Faith seems to enjoy herself, at least,” Vanessa notes.

 

” _Way_ too much,” Charity agrees, getting some satisfaction by the slightly pained look Vanessa’s face. At least they’ll both be equally miserable.

 

”Now, the first game of the evening!” Faith cries, her arms raised enthusiastically in the air.

 

—

 

It turns out Faith has planned a whole evening of ridiculous couples games, and despite Charity’s protests that she and Vanessa should be exempt from it due to their single status, Charity ends up with her ankle tied to Vanessa’s.

 

” _So_ not wearing the right shoes for this,” Vanessa mutters as they hobble across the floor. ”Have I died and gone to foot hell, or something?”

 

Charity smiles at Vanessa’s complaints. She likes that she dares to complain a little too, and it’s not just Charity. And she is definitely a more fun partner than Charity expected. She’s may be too polite to complain to Faith’s face, but she isn’t afraid to tell it like it is. Charity laughs more than she has in ages at Vanessa’s deadpan observations about their fellow partygoers, and Faith’s dictatorial leadership style in particular.

 

At least everyone else seems rather uncomfortable with it all too. Moira looks frazzled, and Cain downright thunderous at times, especially when Faith declares the next game is ”How well do you know your partner?”

 

”I think we’ve earned the right to sit this one out,” Vanessa whispers. ”Let’s leg it!”

 

Charity hasn’t heard sweeter words in a long time and follows Vanessa without a second’s hesitation. This time they manage to sneak off quietly without Faith noticing.

 

Despite its relative unimpressive size from the outside, the inside of the old inn is like a huge labyrinth. They manage to find their way to the bar through a few wrong twists and turns.

 

Vanessa orders them both a glass of white wine and brings the glasses over to a table in a corner.

 

”Narrow escape,” she remarks with a grin. ”You think she’ll come after us?”

 

”Wouldn’t put it past her. She has finally gone off the rails,” Charity states. ”She always has to go over the top. What happened to just getting plastered? That’s all anyone wants for their hen do! Remind me to bar her from any future events at the pub.”

 

”Can’t she tell everyone is hating it?” Vanessa ponders. ”Paddy looked so uncomfortable with all those sex questions. And that paper bag game was the stuff of nightmares!”

 

”You getting a bit too close and personal with Uncle Zak was, definitely,” Charity chuckles and Vanessa makes a face. ”But seeing Paddy squirm is one of the small joys of my life.” She puts her hand solemnly over her heart.

 

Vanessa smirks wickedly. ”Mine an’ all. It never gets old.”

 

Charity smiles back. ”Anyway. All this romance kind of turns your stomach, doesn’t it.”

 

”I would go _quite_ that far. But it’s a bit in your face, isn’t it?” Vanessa sips her drink slowly.

 

”A _bit_ , yeah.” Charity is quite pleased to have someone to agree with her for once. ”Apparently no one thought about us poor single people having to live through this nonsense.”

 

”Still considering that discrimination claim, then,” Vanessa chuckles.

 

”Drawing it up as we speak, babe.” Charity winks at Vanessa, who promptly looks down her glass.

 

She spins it around in her hand for a bit. ”I’m sorry you ended up stuck with me for this stay,” she says eventually.

 

Charity shrugs. ”That’s hardly your fault. And it seems like you’re stuck with me, an’ all. Although there is no way that room is made for two people.”

 

”Well, I could have ended up sharing it with Pearl…”

 

”I guess this is an improvement for you then,” Charity says smugly.

 

”That woman snores worse than a French bulldog. So, I mean, _hopefully_.”

 

”Well, I don’t snore, so I guess today is your lucky day, eh?”

 

”I don’t know about that,” Vanessa chuckles.

 

—

 

They’re on their second drink since fleeing to the bar, and no sign of Faith yet. Charity’s mood has lifted considerably. The wine helps, but it’s mostly the company that’s doing it. She feels lighter than she has in months. It’s nice to have an actual _conversation_ with someone for a change.

 

”The question is, is marriage a word or a _sentence_?” Charity muses.

 

_”Wow,”_ Vanessa laughs.

 

”I’m going with the latter myself.”

 

”And I thought I had a bleak outlook on relationships.”

 

”Yeah?”

 

”Yeah. I used to love a good wedding," Vanessa reflects.”I do wish them well," she adds quickly. ”It’s just, well… I guess it’s a reminder that ship has sailed for me. I know this makes me a terrible person—”

 

”Yeah, the worst!” Charity rolls her eyes. ”Please. Not enjoying this nonsense only makes you sane. And you could find someone tomorrow.”

 

”Yeah, fat chance of that happening. I’m a single mother on the wrong side of forty!”

 

Charity shudders. ”Sounds right terrible when you put it like that. And as one of those myself, I take offense!”

 

”Sorry. I didn’t mean you, obviously.”

 

”Yeah, well. Marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be anyway. Trust me on that.”

 

”How many have you had again?”

 

Charity grins. ”Are we talking weddings or marriages here?”

 

”Forget I asked,” Vanessa rolls her eyes fondly. ”Another?”

 

”Yeah, go on then.” Charity’s eyes linger on Vanessa as she walks over to the bar to top their glasses up with more wine. Vanessa isn’t bad company, and not sore on the eyes either. That long sleeved black dress is really well fitted, it clings to her curves perfectly and it’s an effort not to keep looking.

 

Charity isn’t hating tonight nearly as much as she thought she would.

 

”Ta,” Charity murmurs when Vanessa hands her the refreshed glass. ”Listen. You haven’t ended up anywhere. You’re not dead yet, are you?”

 

”Guess not.”

 

”Anyway, all relationships end in disappointment anyway. It all ends with them being unhappy with who you are and trying to change you so it suits their needs.”

 

Vanessa frowns. ”Why would you even want to with someone who doesn’t like you the way you are?”

 

Charity stops at the question and briefly wonders if she has _ever_ been in a relationship where she has been liked for exactly who she is. She has been loved, desired, wanted, possessed… But genuinely _liked?_ Her heart sinks when she thinks that maybe no one ever has felt that way about her.

 

”I wouldn’t. It’s why I’m staying single, innit?”

 

”I’ll drink to that," Vanessa agrees, and clinks her glass against Charity’s.

 

—

 

They make their way back to the party, much merrier than when they left. The others are still at it with the games.

 

”Jesus. Does this madness never stop?” Charity stage whispers to Vanessa, who wobbles a little beside her.

 

”There you girls are!” Faith exclaims.

 

”Afraid we’ll have to sit this one out, Faith,” Charity says, waving her hand in the air. ”Vanessa is a bit worse for wear.”

 

”I’m no—” Charity nudges Vanessa with her elbow. ”Yeah, I’m, eh, a bit under the weather.”

 

Vanessa is a terrible liar, and Charity has to bite her lip not to laugh out loud. Faith doesn’t argue, too busy making sure no one else strays out of line.

 

Chas comes over with the pram, looking exhausted. ”Can you keep an eye on Gracie for me? I just got her to settle. Mother is insisting I be in all the games.” She rolls her eyes heavenward.

 

”Sure, babe. Enjoy yourself, yeah?” Charity winks at Chas.

 

Chas sighs. ”That woman will be the death of me. Can’t well say no to her when she’s gone to all that trouble though, can I?”

 

”You were always a much better person than me, babe. I would have told her to put a sock in it an hour ago.”

 

Charity is more than happy to sit on the sidelines, rocking Grace’s pram and dropping more sarcastic comments the longer as everyone else is making fools of themselves. Slagging people off is a sport Charity is more than familiar with and she’s pleased when she makes Vanessa almost spit her drink several times with her cutting remarks.

 

”You are _so_ bad,” Vanessa says, shaking her head.

 

”Oh babe, you have _no_ idea,” Charity murmurs.

 

Charity doesn’t really mean to flirt so overtly, but when she is in the presence of someone attractive it sometimes just happens on its own. Vanessa’s eyes widen slightly, and she looks away for a second. Charity doesn’t miss the way Vanessa’s cheeks visibly colours.

 

Interesting.

 

She has heard the rumors about Vanessa, of course. She works in a pub, it’s the gossip hub of the village. If anything worth knowing happens, it’ll reach Charity’s ears quickly. Most of it is the regular rubbish that she pays no mind to, but Vanessa’s alleged fling with Rhona is something she’s made note of.

 

Vanessa finally looks at Charity again, and there’s no mistaking the heat in her gaze, even if it’s hidden behind a layer of confusion.

 

Definitely interesting.

 

Rhona comes over to talk to Vanessa and Charity watches them from the corner of her eye. Vanessa is definitely hot, and Charity has found her eyes falling into her cleavage way more than what’s appropriate over the evening. She’s also nice, charming and clever, which isn’t always the case with the people Charity are usually attracted to. She could definitely consider making a move. She has an inkling it wouldn’t be completely unwelcome.

 

Grace starts to fuss and Charity lifts her up and bounces her on her legs. ”You’re not much for sleeping, are you Gracie?” she says. ”How could you be, with this lot around?”

 

The games have finally ended and Marlon approaches and makes silly faces at Grace who gurgles happily.

 

”Where’s Noah today?” he asks. ”I thought he’d come.”

 

”He wanted to stay home with Sarah and Samson. They’re having a sleepover with Debbie at Cain and Moira’s.

 

”Oh, right. I bet he’s happy about that now.” Marlon pretends to wipe his brow with a smile.

 

Charity smiles at the thought of Noah’s scowl if he’d been forced to participate in all this.

 

”It’s only a matter of time before that boy tries to move in with us again,” she hears Cain say to Jessie, Robert and Aaron. Charity recognizes that tone of voice, it’s his usual MO when he’s a bit drunk and moody and longing to stick the knife in. His words are clearly meant for her as much as the people he is actually talking to. ”He wants to be anywhere but with her.”

 

Marlon clears his throat, embarrassed, and looks away from Charity.

 

”I reckon Moses had a lucky escape,” Cain continues. ”Ross is a plank, but at least he’s a decent parent unlike her.”

 

”Cain,” Moira says warningly, and Charity doesn’t know if it’s the words or the fact that bloody Moira is the only one defending her that makes tears burn behind her eyelids.

 

She rises with Grace in her arms and walks over to Lisa and Zak on the other side of the room.

 

”Lis? Could you look after Grace until Chas gets back? I need the loo.”

 

”Sure love. Come here, you!” Lisa coos and reaches for Grace, while Charity goes for the nearest exit. She is used to taking it on the chin. It’s hardly the first time someone in the family makes a dig at her parenting skills. She’s heard it all, especially from Cain. But today she can’t handle it. She won’t have anyone see how hard those words cut her.

 

—

 

The pitch black sky is clear and the stars twinkle above her. Charity wishes she could just float away, up into that darkness and leave this sorry excuse for a family behind. Not that anything Cain said hadn’t been true, but it wasn’t like she needed reminding.

 

”What are you doing out here? It’s freezing.” It’s Vanessa.

 

Charity sighs. ”Just wishing for a fag. Hoping one will drop from the sky.”

 

”You smoke?”

 

”Haven’t for ages. Wouldn’t mind one now though. You have one?” she asks hopefully.

 

”Non smoker. Sorry.” Vanessa sits down on the bench beside her. ”Are you okay?”

 

”Just peachy.”

 

Vanessa hesitates for a moment before speaking. ”Look, I heard what Cain said—”

 

”Yeah, well. It doesn’t matter. I’ve heard far worse from him. This doesn’t even cut top fifty.”

 

”It was still—”

 

”Look, buttercup,” Charity snaps. ”I don’t need anyone to hold my hand, yeah? Never did. So bore off, will you.”

 

”Alright,” Vanessa sighs. She disappears quietly and Charity catches the hot tears falling with the back of her palm. She doesn’t want to cry in front of Vanessa, or anyone at this bloody place. She knows she’s a terrible mother. She has tried her best, some of the time at least, but everyone knows it’s not enough and she doesn’t know how to fix it. Noah can barely stand to be around her, and soon enough Moses will have forgotten about her altogether.

 

She hears the door open behind her again and tenses, prepared to have a go at whoever bothers her next.

 

”I’ll leave you alone,” Vanessa says. ”Just don’t catch your death, alright?” She hands Charity her coat, and walks away again. Charity stares down at the piece of clothing in her lap. After the rude dismissal, Vanessa had still taken the time to go up to their room and get Charity’s coat for her, just so she wouldn’t freeze. The simple act of kindness makes Charity’s heart constrict.

 

”Thanks,” she says, even though Vanessa’s already gone.

 

—

 

Charity has been laying awake in the dark for nearly an hour when Vanessa comes up to their room. She had contemplated getting blind drunk (and probably causing a scene) but there was just not an ounce of energy left for it.

 

She’d had a nice evening, much better than anything she’d imagined on the drive here, but like everything else that’s good it hadn’t lasted. She’d been reminded, yet again, of her own flaws and that everyone knows the worst of them.

 

Vanessa is doing a decent job at tiptoeing quietly around the room, getting ready for bed. Charity can only see the vague contours of her movements.

 

Eventually, she can feel Vanessa fumbling at the end of the bed and nudge Charity’s foot with her hand.

 

”Hey there,”  Charity says.

 

_”God!”_ Vanessa yelps. ”Oh, Jesus! You’re awake.”

 

”Seems like it.”

 

”You scared me half to death,” Vanessa breathes. ”Sorry, I was just feeling around for where I should get in.”

 

”Well don’t just stand there, then. Get in.”

 

”If you’d rather be alone—”

 

”Not much to do about that now, is there. You can’t well sleep in the corridor. Get in.”

 

Charity can feel the hesitation in Vanessa, but she still manages to crawl her way into bed on Charity’s right side.

 

”No risk of us freezing to death tonight,” Vanessa remarks as she settles snugly against Charity. ”This bed is even smaller than it looks.”

 

”No sudden movements then.”

 

”I usually sleep like a log, me.”

 

”I don’t, but I’ll try not to poke your eye out when I start flailing about. I make no promises though.”

 

”I’ll bare that in mind,” Vanessa yawns.

 

It’s a tight fit, but it’s not so bad laying close to Vanessa like this. It’s been ages since Charity slept beside anyone. It’s usually something she rather avoids, she has a hard time relaxing in bed with people she doesn’t know well. She always sleeps with one eye open. But just the closeness to Vanessa now makes her stomach warm. There’s a kind energy around Vanessa that makes Charity feel at ease. It’s very unusual.

 

”Thanks,” she whispers. ”I mean, for bringing my coat.”

 

”Sure.” Vanessa wants to say something else, the air is thickening with it. ”You must be missing Moses.”

 

Charity is taken aback for a second. Out of her whole family, no one has asked her about that. They all just assume it’s fine. That she doesn’t care.

 

She hadn’t _wanted_ to let him go with Ross. When Ross had told her, _”You know he prefers me, Charity. Always has,”_ she wanted to slap him senseless. She had shouted at him to forget it, but he didn’t. When she threatened him with court, he’d just told her to go ahead - no court would pick her over him.

 

She had been willing to take the risk, but when Debbie had told her in no uncertain terms she thought Moses belonged with Ross, it was like all the fight instantly ran out of her.

 

Ross is a good dad, and Charity struggles to be even a decent mum most days. She knows that part of her is permanently broken. It has been since she was 13, when her dad made her give Debbie away. And what little was left had died with her little boy on New Years Eve all those years ago.

 

So Charity had let Moses go to Liverpool with Ross, with the promise to see him every other weekend. She knows what will happen eventually. He prefers Ross now, and soon enough he’ll forget all about Charity and want to stay with his dad full time. He’ll grow up thinking she didn’t want him, just like all her other kids. It’s inevitable.

 

That doesn’t mean she doesn’t miss him. Sometimes she misses him so much she aches with it. His sticky fingers and toothy smiles, and the way he seems to always adore her no matter what. Just like Noah had, before he grew up and saw her for what she really is. Incomplete.

 

”It doesn’t matter if I miss him. He’s better off with Ross. All my kids have always been better off with other people.” She doesn’t know where the candid honesty comes from.

 

”I’m sure that’s not true.”

 

”Well, you wouldn’t know, would you,” Charity croaks, cursing her voice for getting hoarse with tears. She rubs her hand over her face and swallows hard. ”I’m not a good mum, Vanessa. Everyone knows it. I was terrible with him at the start. I didn’t want another kid and I just let Ross and Emma handle everything. I don’t deserve him.”

 

Things have been better in the last two years or so, as Moses started spending time with her more. And even though he’d been less than planned, she’d grown to love him fiercely. She hadn’t known just how much until Ross took him away. The familiarity of that kind of loss tears at her heart.

 

”Look. I know what it’s like to feel like the worst mother ever, thinking someone else would be better for Johnny than I was.”

 

Charity tries to wrap her head around that statement for a few moments without being able to.

 

”You? Aren’t you this perfect single mother doing everything right?” Their boys are at the same nursery, so Charity knows Vanessa is the kind of mum who is well organized and never forgets to pack snacks or wellies for a rainy day.

 

Vanessa draws a shaky breath. ”Hardly. When Johnny came, he came prematurely. I got postpartum depression. It was all a mess, he was so poorly and I couldn’t… I didn’t instantly love him. I couldn't even be there for him properly. I made some terrible mistakes.  I didn’t think I’d ever feel for him like a normal mum should.”

 

Charity is surprised at Vanessa’s willingness to admit to something so personal. She isn’t used to be trusted with things like this. ”So, how is it now?”

 

”I love him to bits. It did take me a while, but now I wouldn’t lose him for anything. What I mean is, whatever mistakes we make, we can always do better and try to repair them, right? I don’t think anything’s ever too late with kids if you try hard enough.”

 

Hope flares bright in Charity’s chest. Maybe this is what she needed. Someone having a little bit of faith in her, just a little.

 

”You think so? Honestly?”

 

”Yeah, I do. I grew up without one parent. My dad was always a bit unreliable, but I still wanted him. I still wish he’d _tried_ to stay in my life, you know?”

 

”Yeah.” Charity swallows. She rarely thinks of her own mum. There isn’t much to think of, she barely remembers anything abut her. But she has wondered if things would have been different if she hadn’t died. ”So, what do you think I should do? About Moses?”

 

”Whatever you think is the best thing. For Moses and for you.”

 

Charity nods slowly. The right thing must surely be to stay in her son’s life. She feels it stronger than anything, she has ever since Ross told her he was leaving. Debbie’s doubts about her fitness had shaken her enough to think that Moses would she better off. But maybe he isn’t? Just like she isn’t without him.

 

She’s been torn apart by having kids taken from her before, and she can’t stand it again. This time she can actually do something about it. And she will, as soon as she gets home.

 

”Thank you,” she whispers into the darkness.

 

”Anytime,” Vanessa replies sleepily. Vanessa’s hand find Charity’s, squeezing it lightly. Charity squeezes back. ”Night, Charity.”

 

”Night, Ness.” Charity stares into the darkness, feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time. As she starts to fade into sleep, she realizes she hasn’t let go of Vanessa’s hand.

 

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr @blurryoz


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of the wedding and Charity prefers Vanessa's company to anyone else's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I'd get all this done and dusted over the holidays. No such luck, I suppose. Sorry about that. :)

”Oi. Sleeping beauty.” Charity reaches out and pokes Vanessa’s nose.

 

”Wha?” Vanessa wakes up with a start, looking thoroughly confused.

 

”Planning to sleep the whole day, are you?” Charity teases.

 

Vanessa rubs at her eyes. ”Time is it?”

 

”Almost 10.”

 

”Shit,” Vanessa groans. ”Why didn’t you wake me up?”

 

Charity has been up for more than an hour, having a shower and gathering her thoughts. She is feeling better this morning, more positive than she has in a while. She’s made a decision about Moses, and as soon as she had, it was like a weight lifted off her chest.

 

None of her racket in the bathroom had seemed to rouse Vanessa, so Charity had spent a bit more time than she’d like to admit studying Vanessa’s features before waking her up. It’s a face worth looking at, for sure.

 

Charity shrugs nonchalantly. ”You looked very peaceful attached to that pillow in your little puddle of drool.”

 

Vanessa’s hand flies to her chin, finding it dry. ”Shut up.” She shakes her head with a smile. ”Anyway, I had to sleep in since I’ve been up all night listening to you snore.”

 

”You _haven’t!”_ Charity gasps.

 

”You’re not as bad as Pearl though, I’ll give you that.”

 

”Fantastic. What a compliment,” Charity huffs but can’t help but being a bit charmed by Vanessa’s amusement. She tries not to let on. ”So you want to come and see if this place can make a decent brew, or what?”

 

”Sure. Just let me do something about this.” Vanessa gestures vaguely towards her own messy hair.

 

”Chop, chop.”

 

—

 

Everyone else seems a lot worse for wear than Charity and Vanessa. The breakfast room, yet another hidden part of this maze of a building, is scattered with wedding guests and a few randoms as well. None of the people Charity knows look particularly fresh.

 

Rhona waves at Vanessa when she spots her and Vanessa goes to sit with her, Pete and Leo. Charity wants to follow, but suddenly feels strangely awkward about it. She slips down beside Lisa at an adjacent table instead.

 

”Morning,” Charity says. Lisa smiles and pats her arm, while Marlon, Sam and uncle Zak all look green faced and miserable. ”Rough night?”

 

”How can you tell?” Marlon snarks, his head resting heavily in his hand.

 

”The fumes coming off you lot are probably illegal, for starters.”

 

”Where did you get off too yesterday, love?” Lisa asks. ”It’s not like you to turn down a party.”

 

”Headache.”

 

Lisa doesn’t look quite like she believes her but lets it go. ”That’s a shame. It picked right up after the games finally stopped. You really missed something,” Lisa says.

 

”Nothing I haven’t seen before, by the looks of them,” Charity chuckles.

 

”Didn’t get into bed until four,” Sam mumbles. Uncle Zak has dozed off in his chair beside him.

 

”Jessie’s still in bed. Uncle Zak had her drinking out of the welly yesterday,” Marlon informs.

 

”Oh, no. What a _shame,_ ” Charity says, her voice syrupy sweet. ”So we might not get to see her _at all_ today?” she fake pouts. Marlon glares at her and she rolls her eyes. She knows it’s petty of her, but she is still sore about Noah getting excluded from school when he wasn’t the only one causing trouble. She had a real blow out with Jessie about it a few weeks back.

 

Charity eats her full breakfast and drinks her brew, which is alright, if not a little weak. The conversation at her table isn’t much to get excited about. Lisa is the only one to speak in anything other than grunts, and all she’s talking about is Belle’s new boyfriend, a topic Charity doesn’t find particularly interesting.

 

”He seems nice enough? But who knows, she has a history attracting the bad un's, hasn’t she? And Lachlan seemed like such a nice boy. You never know what people are _really_ like.”

 

Charity snorts. ”Lachlan was always a little shit. Hadn’t pegged him for a serial killer though.”

 

”Did you get a feeling for this one, then?” Lisa asks. Belle has brought the new boyfriend as her date to the wedding. David, Daniel, Duncan… _something._ Charity hadn't paid him the least bit of attention last night. All her focus had been elsewhere. She glances over at Vanessa, who is teasing Pete about something, wagging a piece of toast in his direction.

 

”Charity?” Lisa elbows her for attention.

 

”Um, yeah, I mean he was a bit bland wasn’t he? In a good way. Harmless.”

 

”Oh, I hope so. Our Belle needs someone stable and reliable after everything she’s been through.”

 

Charity nods in agreement while finishing her coffee. ”Seemed like a real snooze, so maybe this is the one, eh?”

 

Lisa nods hopefully.

 

”Hey.” Charity looks up to see Vanessa standing beside her.

 

”Hiya, babe. Miss me already?”

 

Vanessa rolls her eyes, but Charity doesn’t miss the tiny hint of a flush passing over her cheeks. ”I was thinking of maybe going for a walk before starting with all the wedding prep. Take a look at the surroundings. Wanna come?”

 

Charity isn’t one to take leisurely strolls in the dead cold of winter, or any other time for that matter. ”Sure, why not,” she agrees, ignoring Lisa’s subtle gasp of surprise.

 

Vanessa looks a bit surprised too, but her smile is bright as sunshine. ”Great. I’ll just dig out my snow boots and we can go on our way.”

 

—

 

Charity hadn’t packed any snow boots, or anything remotely like it, since she hadn’t planned on wading through half a meter of snow. Her leather shoes are leaking a little but she doesn’t complain as she follows Vanessa walking briskly up the hill towards the forest.

 

”This place is amazing,” Vanessa gushes as they turn around to look down on the little inn embedded in the snow.

 

”It’s not bad,” Charity says. It’s a sunny day, but still cold enough for the snow to have lingered overnight and it glitters beautifully in the sunlight. It _is_ pretty, Charity has to admit that to herself.

 

”Did you know the oldest parts were stables once?” Vanessa asks, pointing towards one end of the building. ”And the wine cellar used to be an old dungeon. There are still shackles down there and everything.”

 

”Really?”

 

”The lady at the front desk told me. It’s been an inn for about 300 years now, though.”

 

It seems like something Vanessa would do, get chummy with old ladies and have small talk with them. It’s almost a bit… cute. Charity shakes her head and looks over at Vanessa.

 

She’s got what looks like a 100 layers on and a bobble hat that doesn’t quite match her yellow jacket and body warmer. Her cheeks are pink from the cold. She looks like one of those healthy, outdoorsy types that usually bore Charity to death. She can’t pinpoint what makes this look so bloody attractive on Vanessa.

 

”I heard the party started properly after I went to bed. Didn’t you have fun?” Charity probes.

 

”Sure I did.”

 

”You came back awfully early though. I heard it went on until morning.”

 

”I was really tired,” Vanessa says, seeming to mull something over in her head before continuing. ”And, well. I’ll admit it. I was wondering how you were doing, too.”

 

”I had a feeling,” Charity says. It’s a bit unfamiliar, having someone subtly look out for her like that. Just out of concern. She finds she doesn’t mind it, though. ”A right busybody, you, aren’t you?”

 

There’s a huge pile of snow just beside Vanessa, and in a spur of the moment impulse, Charity gives her a bump with her hip, making Vanessa topple over and disappear into the pile with a little squeal. It almost swallows her whole.

 

A deep, loud laugh comes bubbling out of Charity’s chest.

 

”Oi!” Vanessa sputters, flailing around in the snow. ”What was that for?”

 

”For being a busybody.” Charity can’t stop laughing, her ribs are starting to hurt. ”You’re so tiny I can hardly see you down there, babe.”

 

Vanessa huffs and struggles to get up. ”You have to help me up,” she says with a frown.

 

”Alright, keep your hair on.” Charity reaches out to take Vanessa’s hand, and as she leans down, Vanessa sticks her foot out and trips Charity so she falls face first into the snow beside her.

 

It’s really bloody cold, but Vanessa laughing heartily beside her, falling on her back and clutching her stomach. Charity wipes the snow off her own face, shivering a little. Vanessa dusts Charity’s hair with her knitted glove, sending a small cascade of snowflakes falling in front of Charity’s gaze.

 

”Sweet revenge,” Vanessa chuckles.

 

”Well, babe. You’re more devious than you look, I’ll give you that.”

 

Charity suddenly notices how close they’re laying, and how blue Vanessa’s eyes are. It’s a really gorgeous, deep blue, the kind you could drown in if you let yourself—

 

”Right!” Charity blinks and shakes her head. _What’s happening here?_ She feels suddenly nervous, like she can’t really look at Vanessa, out of fear of revealing something. Like Vanessa can see right through her. ”Shouldn’t we be go back and get ready before we freeze our bits off up here?”

 

”We probably should,” Vanessa agrees, and bites her lip. ”I still need help getting up though.”

 

Charity chuckles at the sheepish look on Vanessa’s face. ”Alright. I’ll give you a shove if you give me a pull.”

 

”I guess I’m not the only one getting old here.”

 

”Oh, shut up you.”

 

—

 

There’s a weird sort of nervous tension between them when they get back to their room, and Charity immediately starts to busy herself with getting ready. The wedding is at 3 pm, and she has promised to help Chas do her hair and makeup.

 

When she bursts out of the bathroom, she manages to startle a half dressed Vanessa, who yelps and presses a hand to her chest.

 

”Blimey. I’m starting to think you’re _trying_ to scare me to death,” Vanessa laughs.

 

Painfully dragging her eyes from Vanessa’s bra covered chest, Charity struggles for a clever response and there’s just _nothing._ ”I’ve got to go help Chas,” she says. ”With her hair, and that.”

 

”Oh, right,” Vanessa says absentmindedly as she’s pulling up her dress over her chest. ”Hey, would you mind zipping me up before you go? Otherwise I’ll have to run downstairs and ask Rhona.” Vanessa seems almost apologetic, and for some reason, Vanessa’s visible nerves calms Charity’s.

 

”Sure babe,” she says smoothly. ”Turn around.”

 

Vanessa turns and gathers her hair in one hand, holding it up out of the way. A wisp of her perfume, with notes of lily of the valley, reaches Charity’s senses as she breathes in through her nose. Charity has to steel herself not to drag her fingertip across the exposed skin as she closes the zipper all the way up.

 

”There you go.”

 

”Thank you.” Vanessa turns back towards Charity. ”You’re a lifesaver.” She bites her lip shyly, and Charity is almost positive she wasn’t the only one a bit affected by the moment. That knowledge gives her confidence a boost.

 

”Anytime, babe,” she says with a wink, as she leaves the room to go help Chas.

 

—

 

Chas is quiet and emotional as Charity does her make-up. Charity ordered Faith out of the way, so she’s sat in the corner sulking while minding Grace, while Charity braids Chas’ hair. She’d opted for something really simple, which is the only reason Charity agreed to being in charge of this herself.

 

”Not a hairdresser, but I reckon I’ve scrubbed you up pretty well.” She nods firmly, pleased with her work. Chas looks beautiful.

 

Chas’ chin wobbles dangerously.

 

”You alright babe?” Charity asks. ”It’s not that bad, is it?”

 

”It’s fine. Better than fine. Ta,” Chas snivels as Charity hands her a hanky. ”I just realized, this is it, you know? The one that’s gonna last.”

 

”’Course it is,” Charity agrees. ”You three are going to be disgustingly happy forever, and I’ll have to get dentures because of all the toothache you’ll give me.”

 

Chas snorts and dabs her eyes.

 

”Now stop ruining your makeup, alright. I’m not a magician.”

 

—

 

As soon as the ceremony starts, Faith starts to sob loudly.

 

Chas glows with happiness and Paddy wipes his cheeks as they say their vows.

 

And then they’re wed.

 

—

 

The wedding and reception is held on the top floor in an adjacent building, not quite as ancient as the one they’re staying at, but still a few hundred years old at least. It’s pretty but a bit too drafty for the last days of December and Charity sulks over the seating which has placed her in between uncle Zak and Belle’s boyfriend. Dominic his name is, and he’s shy and fidgety and so dull Charity wants to bang her head against the table. Vanessa has been seated  as long as humanly possible away from Charity, next to Sam at the end of the table.

 

Charity actually misses her company a bit. Quite a bit.

 

As everyone gathers their food and drinks, Charity sneaks up on her by the buffet.

 

”It’s a fairly orderly affair, for a Dingle wedding,” Charity remarks. ”Don’t worry, it’ll pick up soon enough.”

 

Vanessa is just about to reply as Zak knocks on the table.

 

”Can I get everyone’s attention!” He is already a little wobbly and his nose even more swollen than usual.

 

”It’s already started.” Charity rolls her eyes. ”Best get back, eh?”

 

Vanessa nods. ”Come find me later, yeah?” she says with a squeeze to Charity’s arm.

 

She definitely will.

 

—

 

Charity wants nothing else but to go talk to Vanessa, but after Zak’s long ramble, there are others after. Marlon, Faith, Aaron… Charity has been to too many weddings not to zoom out during a lot of it, although Aaron’s speech made even her a bit emotional.

 

When all that is over, there’s a bit of a break before the cake.

 

”You want to get some air?” Vanessa asks as soon as Charity approaches her.

 

The building may be drafty, but it’s probably colder outside. And yet, Charity follows, wrapping her coat tightly around herself.

 

It’s already dark out, the only lights around are the ones from the inn and the ones right above the door.

 

”Look what I found. One day too late, but it’s the thought that counts, right?” Vanessa holds up a single cigarette in front of Charity, looking mighty pleased with herself.

 

”Where’d you get that?”

 

”It didn’t fall from the sky, strangely. Edie at the front desk.”

 

”First name basis, already? You work fast, babe.” Charity winks. It’s an oddly sweet thing to do. ”You’re trying to lead me into trouble? I quit years ago, you know.”

 

Vanessa shrugs. ”It’s just the one. If you don’t want it, I’ll give it back.”

 

Charity snatches it out of her hand. ”Didn’t say that, did I. You’ve got a light?”

 

Vanessa reaches inside her pocket, takes out a lighter and offers it to Charity. Charity just stares at her until Vanessa rolls her eyes and lights the flame. Charity cups her hands over it and Vanessa’s hand, totally unnecessarily since there’s not a trace of wind, and leans in to light it.

 

After the first drag, Charity coughs, her head spinning a little. The smoke really stings her lungs in a way that reminds her of being twelve and hiding behind some bushes in the school yard. ”Wow. It’s a kick when you haven’t smoked in so long.”

 

Vanessa grins. ”Can I make a confession? I used to smoke at parties all the time in uni, but I never inhaled. Only did it to look cool.” Vanessa rolls her eyes at the ridiculousness of her own statement.

 

Charity laughs. The thought of Vanessa putting on a show like that is almost endearing. ”You’re a real rebel you, aren’t you?” She passes the cigarette to Vanessa who puffs it like a pro. Charity can’t tear her eyes away from her. She really is gorgeous, and there’s something about her with a cigarette that makes her look downright sultry. ”I’ve got to give it to you, babe. You may be faking it, but you make that look good.”

 

”Well, that was the whole point of it back then too. Look nonchalant and experienced and get noticed.”

 

”Well, it’s working.” Charity catches herself staring at Vanessa’s mouth, the way it closes around the butt of the cigarette. Vanessa artfully releases the smoke, and it falls like a spell between them.

 

As she looks up into Vanessa’s eyes, she instantly knows Vanessa has noticed her staring. The blush from before starts creeping up her cheeks again, her eyes looking slightly glassy.

 

Charity is tired of pretending like she doesn’t want to kiss Vanessa. She’s been thinking about it all day. She takes a tiny step forward, just to test the waters, slow enough to mask what she’s doing, if she needs to. But Vanessa’s eyes are falling to Charity’s lips now too and Charity wants nothing more than to close the gap between them. She reaches out, takes the cigarette from Vanessa’s hand and tosses it in the snow and leans in.

 

Vanessa’s lips are soft, and the rush of breath against Charity’s lips sends a thrill down her spine. It’s tentative at first, and Charity has to pull back to look at Vanessa’s face again. Vanessa is completely still for a moment before tugging at Charity’s arm to pull her back in.

 

Vanessa’s fingers are digging into Charity’s arms, before traveling up to cup the back of her neck. She makes a noise at the back of her throat when Charity licks along her bottom lip and meets her there without hesitation, and Charity’s whole body starts to hum pleasantly as the intensity between them grows.

 

She’s a really good kisser, Vanessa is. Charity just wants more of it and soon she’s pressing Vanessa gently up against the wall next to the door. As her back makes contact with the bricks, Vanessa gasps and kisses Charity deeper.

 

Eventually, mournfully, Charity forces herself to pull away, just to get steady and calm her thundering heartbeat.

 

They’re both panting, their breaths mingling like smoke between them as they part. Vanessa’s lips are swollen from their kisses and her gaze is clouded by something Charity knows well. She suspects she looks just the same herself.

 

”So,” Vanessa rasps, her voice trembling. ”T-that was a bit unexpected.”

 

”Was it?” Charity asks with a throaty laugh.

 

”Wasn’t it?”

 

Charity shrugs and plays with a button on Vanessa’s coat. ”I’ve wondered about you. Now I know.”

 

Vanessa frowns. ”Know what?”

 

”Straight girls don’t kiss like that, do they,” Charity murmurs, leaning in again.

 

A firm hand against her shoulder pushes her backwards.

 

Vanessa squirms out of Charity’s arms. Her eyes are angry now, but Charity is more taken aback by the hurt glistening there.

 

”So what was this then, some kind of test? Spot the closet case?” Vanessa spits. She looks like she is about to cry, and Charity does not understand what just went wrong.

 

”What? No!” Vanessa moves around Charity to get to the door. ”Come on, babe! It was a compliment!”

 

”Stuff your compliments!” Vanessa shouts as she dramatically storms inside and slams the door behind her.

 

”Shit,” Charity sighs as she looks up to the heavens.

 

—

 

After spending a few minutes pacing the yard, Charity decides to go back inside to look for Vanessa. There’s a sinking feeling in her chest that she doesn’t like. She doesn’t know why she’s so bothered that Vanessa is upset with her, if she’d care about everyone she offended she’d do nothing but fret and apologize. But she feels really bad for some reason. Maybe it was that pained look in Vanessa’s eyes, maybe it’s because they were actually having a nice time before she managed to step in it. Or that for once, Charity hadn’t intended for her words to cause offense. She doesn’t know, she just knows that she wants nothing more than to fix it.

 

There is no sign of Vanessa in the big hall, but as she looks through the adjacent rooms she finds her sitting on a bench with her head turned to the window. Charity retreats back into the hall, pours two glasses of fizz, takes a deep breath, and walks back towards Vanessa.

 

”Got you a drink.” She puts it down beside Vanessa.

 

”Those are free”, Vanessa snaps, and Charity almost laughs at the petulance. It’s rather cute.

 

”You know what old Churchill said. Champagne is best served cold, dry and free. The fact that it’s Paddy paying for it makes it even better. Not that he’d pay for _actual_ champagne, cheap sod.”

 

She was hoping for at least a smile, but Vanessa’s head is still turned away from her. Her shoulders look tense. Charity sighs.

 

”You know, I didn’t actually mean to upset you, you know.”

 

Vanessa snorts. ”Isn’t that what you do?”

 

The idea that Vanessa has the same ideas about her as everyone else stings her more than she expected. But not enough to put her off.

 

”Normally, maybe. Not this time.”

 

Vanessa is dead silent for a long time. It starts to make Charity worried that maybe she misread the whole situation. ”Look, if it wasn’t something that you wanted, I’m sorry, right?”

 

Vanessa turns to look at her for a long moment, looking so sad Charity’s heart aches a little.

 

”Oh, I wanted it. That’s not it.”

 

”So what’s the problem then?”

 

”Do you even care?”

 

Charity finds that surprisingly enough, she really does. ”Look, I’m not a therapist”, she sighs. ”But if you want to tell me about it, go ahead. Otherwise I’m totally fine with just getting plastered.”

 

”Charming”, Vanessa huffs.

 

Charity just shrugs, taking a swig from her glass.

 

”So you weren’t having me on then?” Vanessa’s voice is quiet. Charity can see her fingers trembling in her lap. ”Messing with me for a laugh or whatever?”

 

”Why would I do that?” Charity asks incredulously. She is actually a bit hurt by the suggestion.

 

”Dunno. I just thought, when you said—”

 

”What can I say, I’m not great at compliments. Never have been.”

 

Something softens in Vanessa’s eyes then. ”I’m sorry, Charity. It’s just… I’ve been kissed before. By a woman who didn’t mean it. It really hurt me. I guess it’s still a bit raw, even though it was ages ago.”

 

Charity is willing to be money that woman was Rhona, but she doesn’t ask.

 

”Well, it was hardly a proposal of marriage, was it. But for the record I did it for no other reason than I wanted to.”

 

Vanessa gives her a long appraising look before speaking again.

 

”I guess I always assumed you were straight.”

 

Charity wrinkles her nose. ”Why would you assume something like that?”

 

Vanessa is quiet for a long time again, fiddling with the glass in her hand.

 

”So, you’re into women, then?” Vanessa asks.

 

”I don’t discriminate.”

 

”And that means… what?”

 

”It means man or woman; it doesn’t make a lick of difference to me. Never understood why people make such a big deal about it.” She looks over at Vanessa who’s wearing a deep frown. ”Judging by your face you don’t agree.”

 

”It’s not that, it’s… a good way of looking at it. I wish I could be that laid back about it.” Vanessa chuckles. It sounds painful. ”It’s just something I’ve always hoped would go away. And every time I think it has, it pops right back up again.”

 

Everything suddenly make a bit more sense to Charity. ”I don’t get why you’d deny yourself. There’s nothing wrong with going with whomever you fancy.”

 

Vanessa looks down at her lap. ”Yeah well. Tell that to my mum.”

 

”Ah. Is she all up in your business, like?”

 

”Haven’t seen her in years, actually. And we’ve barely even spoken since she found out I let dad stay with me after he got out of prison.”

 

”Well there you go then. Why would you let that old bag dictate your life?”

 

”I don’t. It’s just she made me feel like it wasn’t an option, ever. And since I could stand going with blokes, I just did and tried to forget the rest. I _did_ for long periods of time.”

 

”Well. If you can just _stand_ a person, that’s not really a great basis for a relationship. Trust me, I’m an expert on this.”

 

”I know. I _know,”_ Vanessa sighs. ”Maybe that’s why none of my relationships ever lasted longer than a few months. Maybe I’ve done things the wrong way my entire life. And now it’s too late to change any of that. My ship has sailed.”

 

”Oi. Again with the old comments! You are in your prime, just like me. And you managed to pull this mega fit bird at a wedding in the middle of nowhere. How bad can it be?”

 

Vanessa chuckles, the smile reaching her eyes for the first time since Charity sat down beside her. ”Slim pickings. You’re literally the only other single person at this wedding.”

 

Charity smirks. ”You’ve gotta work with what you have, eh?”

 

Vanessa leans back, regarding Charity. ”You’re being really… nice.” There’s something in her eyes that makes Charity’s stomach flutter.

 

”Yeah well.” Charity bumps Vanessa’s shoulder. ”Don’t get used to it, kid.”

 

”I’ll try not to. But thanks for listening, Charity.”

 

”Sure, yeah. What do you say, should we go get us some cake before that lot out there eats it all?”

 

”Sounds good.”

 

—

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued.
> 
> Find me on tumblr @blurryoz


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the wedding party continues, things between Charity and Vanessa slowly grow more intense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so this took me an absolute age to get out. Mostly because of personal stuff, but here it finally is. Hope someone is still interested in reading it (even if you might have to start from the beginning to get the context after all this time). :)

If someone had told Charity that the most enjoyable thing about this wedding would be spending time with Vanessa Woodfield, she would have thought they were taking the mick. She actually hadn’t been looking forward to spending three days in the middle of nowhere at all, but somehow, being around Vanessa makes everything tolerable.

 

Charity has seen Vanessa around the village for years, but there’s never been a reason to do more than exchange a few words over the bar in the pub. She’s never taken the time to really  _ notice _ her before now.

 

What a waste, since it turns out Vanessa is pretty great to be around, and gorgeous to boot. Charity can’t actually believe she never picked up on that before, more than in passing. She’s not blind, after all. 

 

But now, she knows there’s something about Vanessa that really piques her interest. Just being in Vanessa’s presence has somehow helped lift the dark cloud that’s been hanging over her for months. It’s a bit of a shock.

 

Charity can’t even remember the last time she felt genuinely _ interested  _ in anyone. She hopes she hasn’t blown it by being a bit too blunt earlier.

 

Still, Vanessa lingers beside Charity during the cutting of the cake. She is standing slightly too close for what would be deemed socially acceptable for mere acquaintances. No one else seems to notice, everyone are focused on Chas and Paddy. But Charity does. She is very good at noticing things like this, and it seems like she didn’t totally mess up with Vanessa, which is more of a relief than she would like to admit.

 

Distracted by her own thoughts, she nearly misses how Chas smears cream all over Paddy’s face. Vanessa laughs beside her.

 

—

 

They’ve gone all out with a live band, and after the cake - that she had to eat beside what’s his name (who has  _ finally _ given up on trying to make stilted conversation with her) - everyone starts to flock towards the dance floor. Charity’s eyes rests mostly on Vanessa on the other side of the room during Paddy and Chas’ first dance.

 

There’s a light coming from inside Vanessa, an energy that’s warm, almost radiant, and that draws Charity completely in as their eyes meet across the dance floor. Vanessa stills as they look at each other, the way her lips curve is both cheeky and a bit shy. There’s no mistaking the curiosity there, that matches Charity’s own.

 

Charity feels her heart quicken. When did just a glance affect her this way? She’s obviously been off her game for way too long. She has to look away for a second, pretending to care about Paddy’s awkward stumbling to ”At last”.

 

As soon as the music changes from soppy romantic to something more up-beat, Vanessa enthusiastically joins everyone out there. Vanessa dances beside Robert and Aaron, and Charity actually has to swallow a laugh because Vanessa actually makes them two look like decent dancers.

 

Charity rounds the crowd to get to the temporary bar and order two cocktails. When she returns to her earlier spot Vanessa has really started to get into it. Arms are going everywhere, dreadfully out of sync with what her feet are currently doing. Charity lets her eyes linger at the scene. There’s something quite endearing about it. She can’t believe she’s even thinking that. She can’t wipe the smile off her face, watching Vanessa move to the music.

 

Vanessa spins around and spots Charity. She raises one of the glasses in Vanessa’s direction, quirking her eyebrow.  Vanessa returns Charity’s smile and makes a beeline for her.

 

”Refreshments?” Charity offers.

 

”Thank you.” Vanessa gratefully accepts the drink. ”You not dancing?”

 

”I don’t know, babe. I’m scared you might take someone’s eye out with all that flailing, and I prefer that someone to not be me.”

 

”Did you just insult my dancing skills?” Vanessa gasps, a hand dramatically pressed to her chest.

 

”Complimenting you didn’t really work earlier, so I thought I’d try brutal honesty instead.” Charity winks. ”You make Robert’s moves look alright, and that’s saying something.”

 

Vanessa grins. ”I always reckoned if you’re born with two left feet, you might as well embrace your ugly dance.”

 

”Fair enough,” Charity chuckles. 

 

”Let’s see if you can do any better,” Vanessa demands, puts down her drink and takes Charity’s hand to drag her onto the dance floor. Charity indulges her and is soon caught up in the eagerness of the other woman. The band is pretty good, and she over exaggerates her moves to mirror Vanessa’s, who laughs and starts flailing even worse. Charity shakes her head and does the same.

 

She is having fun. Genuinely. She can’t remember that last time she felt this light.

 

The next song is a bit more mellow with a heavier beat, and Vanessa slows down her movements just slightly. It’s so easy to fall into the rhythm next to her. Like this, they both inch a little closer. Charity can feel the heat of both their bodies mingling in the air between them.

 

After the next upbeat song, Charity has to slow down. She takes Vanessa’s hand and move away from the dance floor to a corner where they can catch their breaths.

 

”Are you getting a bit old for this?” Vanessa teases.

 

”Less of the old,” Charity warns and sips her drink, eyeing Vanessa over the brim. The drink is bland, despite the vibrant colour. ”The bartender is a hack. This tastes like dishwater.”

 

Vanessa tastes her own drink and makes a face. ”Maybe someone nabbed the vodka and replaced it with water.”

 

”Probably Faith, trying to keep the costs down. Like she got us to share a room instead of making Paddy pay for two singles.”

 

”I don’t mind it much,” Vanessa says, and immediately blushes. ”Other than the snoring, obviously,” she adds quickly.

 

Her attempt at saving face is useless, Charity has caught on. If the colour of Vanessa’s cheeks are any indication, here’s definitely still hope for this thing to happen. Charity realizes she  _ really _ wants it to. 

 

”I’ll make you a decent cocktail in the Woolie sometime, yeah? I’ll even throw in one of those little umbrellas,” Charity offers. 

 

Vanessa smiles. ”I’d like that.”

 

Charity moves closer to Vanessa until they’re almost entirely hidden away from sight behind a massive wooden column.

 

”So, just out of curiosity…” Charity starts, tapping her fingers lightly against Vanessa’s wrist, noting the goosebumps rising. ”If I’d kiss you again, would you have a go at me again too?”

 

Vanessa flushes, even more noticeable this time. ”Probably not,” she murmurs. Charity doesn’t miss the way Vanessa’s eyes immediately fall down to her lips, just like they did outside.

 

”I’ll take my chances then, shall I?” 

 

Charity reaches out, putting a single finger under Vanessa’s chin and pulling her closer. Vanessa follows, and as soon as their lips meet, Vanessa instantly reciprocates by kissing back softly. It’s less urgent than before, more a confirmation of sorts.

 

Charity pulls away, smiling knowingly. Vanessa stares at her like she’s in a daze.

 

”You’re not even gonna yell at me, babe?” Charity teases. ”I’m almost disappointed.”

 

”Oh, shut up you,” Vanessa replies and closes the gap between them again. Charity smiles into it, and it’s… it’s  _ good _ . Just as good as it had been earlier. Even better, since Vanessa isn’t pushing her away this time. 

 

She could do this all night, she realizes. She doesn’t care about anything else but this from now on.

 

Vanessa’s hand sneaks up against the nape of Charity’s neck, playing with the soft hairs there. It makes Charity shiver and bite down on Vanessa’s bottom lip. Vanessa tugs her even closer and it’s—

 

” _ Charity! _ Has anyone seen Charity?”

 

Faith’s voice cuts through the fog in Charity’s brain like a knife and they break their kiss quickly.

 

”Flaming heck,” Charity growls. She can always trust Faith to have the worst possible timing. ”I’m over here!” she calls. ”What are you screeching about?”

 

Faith comes rounding the column, wobbling dangerously in her high heels, obviously having had a few too many. ”Wardrobe malfunction! Come quick, Chas is in the bogs waiting!” 

 

Charity rolls her eyes. ”Coming!” she yells, willing Faith to go away as soon as possible. Thankfully, Faith has already turned and started swaying towards the toilets. Charity looks back at Vanessa,  who’s all flustered in a way that makes Charity hungry. She leans in, murmuring in Vanessa’s ear. ”Don’t pull anyone else when I’m away, yeah?”

 

She can feel Vanessa quiver softly from Charity’s breath caressing her ear. The words are just for show; there’s no one else here that Vanessa could possibly pull. But Charity wants to somehow make it overtly clear what’s going on. She wants Vanessa and she’s not afraid to really show it now that she’s positive the feeling is mutual.

 

”Don’t be too long,” Vanessa husks. ”My dance moves are usually in high demand.”

 

Charity is delighted with the way Vanessa plays along with her. ”Oh, I bet they are,” Charity says, walking backwards, pinning Vanessa with her gaze until she has to round the corner.

 

—

 

The wardrobe malfunction isn’t nearly as dramatic as Faith made it sound, and Charity has the loose dress strap sorted in a few minutes thanks to the little sewing kit Chas brought.

 

”You’re in an unusually good mood,” Chas remarks suspiciously.

 

”It’s your wedding, innit?” Charity replies.

 

”Oh, come off it. You’re not  _ that _ happy for me. You’ve had a face on you like a slapped arse for weeks.” 

 

Charity almost snaps at her that maybe it’s because she misses her son, but none of her family seem to view that as a remote possibility for her drop in mood, so she doesn’t bother.

 

”Now you’re almost bubbly. What’s changed?” Chas demands.

 

”Just in the festive mood, I suppose,” Charity replies and flashes her teeth.

 

—

 

After sorting Chas’ dress out, Charity scans the room. She doesn’t immediately find Vanessa. She isn’t one to go running after people, but she can’t help herself.  

 

Someone catching her interest like this is a rarity. Charity knows how to fake it, when it comes to attraction, sex, even love sometimes. A few times she’s faked it so well she’s almost believed it herself, but this genuine feeling of intense attraction and  _ like _ for someone is a bit overwhelming. It’s only been 24 hours, but it’s a powerful feeling Charity had almost forgotten she was capable of.

 

She already has this intense impression that there’s something very special about Vanessa. The urge to explore what it could mean is strong.

 

She finally spots Vanessa sitting by one of the tables in a far off corner, talking vividly, looking into her phone. Charity can tell by the way she is moving that she must be talking to Johnny. She approaches, but lingers a little in the background so not to disturb the conversation.

 

”Night, night my darling,” Vanessa coos into the screen. ”And be a good boy for granddad and auntie Tracy, alright? I’ll see you tomorrow.” Vanessa blows some kisses towards the phone.

 

Charity slides down into the chair beside Vanessa after she says her final goodbyes. Vanessa lights up at the sight of her. It’s something that could become addictive, that sincere smile being directed at her.

 

”That was fast,” Vanessa says.

 

”Easy enough fix if you’re good with your hands,” Charity replies, letting the innuendo hang between them. Vanessa looks away, but bumps her leg playfully against Charity’s under the table and doesn’t move away.

 

”So, how’s Johnny doing?”

 

”Oh, fine. He loves being with dad and Tracy. He barely notices I’m gone. I’m lucky to have them now.”

 

”You all seem to get along pretty well now,” Charity remarks. Charity knows a little about the drama that unfurled when Frank first came to the village. ”It was a while since you last tried to stab Tracy with a fork in full view of the pub, after all.”

 

Vanessa’s eyes widen with embarrassment. ”You saw that?”

 

”Very sorry to say I missed it. You two were the talk of the town for a few days there though.”

 

”I was a right cow to Tracy at the start,” Vanessa mutters. ”It wasn’t even about her. I was so angry with dad, for so many different reasons, she sort of got caught in the crossfire.”

 

Vanessa’s openness surprises Charity once again. She isn’t used to people giving her their confidence so easily. Maybe Vanessa felt some kind of shift between them yesterday too, or maybe it’s just her personality. Either way, Charity finds that she likes it, being treated like an actual person and not  _ Charity Dingle _ who can never be trusted.

 

”Your dad wasn’t exactly father of the year, then?”

 

”I worshipped him when I was a girl.” Vanessa’s tone is light enough, but her eyes are sad. ”I just couldn’t rely on him. After he split with my mum, you’d never know if he turn up when he promised to. And the older I got, the less he was around. Until he simply never came back.” Vanessa takes a sip of her drink. ”What about your parents?”

 

The question startles Charity a little. She never talks about her parents. All her family knows not to poke that particular wound, and most other people don’t care enough to ask. ”My mum’s dead. My dad’s a drunk.” She hears the harshness in her own voice, how dismissive it sounds. ”Not much else to tell.”

 

Vanessa doesn’t seem offended by her tone. ”I’m sorry to hear that. I didn’t mean to pry.”

 

”It’s alright. It’s just not a great story to tell. It’s not my go to topic when I try to chat someone up.”

 

Vanessa smiles coyly and lets her fingers ghost over Charity’s. ”Is that what you’re trying to do?”

 

”Emphasis on  _ trying _ , babe,” Charity rolls her eyes with a smile of her own.

 

Vanessa links their fingers and let them rest on her knee. ”You’re doing a half-decent job of it,” Vanessa murmurs. Charity feels like she’s hanging onto Vanessa’s every word at this point. The sound of her voice this low is hypnotic. ”If you keep it up, it might even get you somewhere.”

 

”Yeah? And where’s that, exactly?”

 

Vanessa slaps Charity’s hand playfully and changes the subject to talking about what a good job Charity has done on Chas’ hair and make-up. Charity goes along with the obvious deflection, and tells the tale of the many frustrating practicing sessions they had before Chas was satisfied with her look.

 

They slip from one subject to the next, and just like yesterday it’s so easy. It just flows between them. Vanessa nabs a bottle of fizz from the bartender and they share it over laughter and flirting, and Charity delights in how enjoyable it is. Just talking and allowing the tension build slowly. 

 

”Hey there.”

 

Charity would recognize  _ that  _ bloody voice anywhere and she could scream in Moira’s face for bursting their bubble. They must have been talking for more than an hour.

 

Moira sits down next to Vanessa without preamble, Isaac fast asleep in her arms. ”I was meaning to ask you about something.”

 

”Of course,” Vanessa says. 

 

Moira looks at Charity like she expects her to leave them to it, but Charity just stares back and refuses to move. 

 

”Don’t let me interrupt,” Charity tells Moira, much too politely for it to be believable.

 

She lets them get into their conversation, something about  _ sheep _ and  _ listeria _ . She doesn’t care about any of it. What she does care about is the way Vanessa’s leg has tangled with hers under the table, and that their hands are still placed on Vanessa’s knee. They had barely stopped touching the whole time they were talking. 

 

Charity flexes her fingers, running a fingertip against Vanessa’s knee. She is pleased to feel the answering shiver. Charity gets a bit bolder then, letting her fingers stroke lightly over Vanessa’s knee, scraping her nails lightly over the silky fabric of the stocking. Vanessa visibly tenses, and Charity starts to remove her hand, thinking maybe this was too much too fast, but as she starts to withdraw, Vanessa reaches for her hand and places it right back where it was.

 

Charity smirks to herself, and lets her fingers explore some more. The fabric is smooth under her touch, and she feels Vanessa shift under her hand as she inches higher up on her leg. Not far, just enough to tease Vanessa. It seems to be working. Vanessa’s hands move restlessly on the table as she struggles to keep up an unaffected appearance in front of Moira.

 

Charity loses herself to the sensation at her fingertips and barely notices when Moira starts to excuse herself to put Isaac to bed. 

 

She doesn’t miss Moira’s whispered ”you alright here on your own?” and Vanessa’s dismissive wave.

 

”Of course I am.” 

 

As soon as Moira’s back is turned, Vanessa puts her hand over Charity’s again.

 

”So she wanted to save you from my company,” Charity observes, feeling a bit sore about it.

 

When their gazes meet this time, Charity has to draw a breath at the sight of Vanessa. Arousal is painted in broad strokes over her face. Just the sight of it makes Charity clench and her heart rate pick up. 

 

”I don’t need saving.” Vanessa tugs at her hand. ”Come on,” she says hoarsely as she pulls Charity from the chair and out of the big hall. As soon as they enter the coat room, Vanessa has Charity pressed roughly up against the nearest wall, kissing her without any trace of hesitation.

 

Teasing Vanessa really worked even better than Charity had hoped. She quickly grows dizzy as Vanessa’s sudden assertiveness lights a fire in her belly. It’s exhilarating to be kissed with this much caring attention and deeply felt need. Vanessa’s fingers are soft against her jaw, in her hair, stroking over her sides. None of the movements are careless and possessive, just touch for the sake of touch. Charity pulls at Vanessa, claws at her shoulders and her waist, doing everything she can to get even closer.

 

It’s intoxicating, much more so that the actual alcohol in her blood. It feels like a fever dream.

 

The air of the drafty coat room is cool around them, but the heat of their bodies pressed together makes them both forget both the cold and time itself. It’s all a beautiful blur and it goes on forever.

 

Vanessa runs her hands down Charity’s sides and clutches her hips, desperately trying to minimize any space left between them. Charity moans into Vanessa’s mouth and Vanessa gasps.

 

”God,” Vanessa mutters, and her fingers dig firmer into the flesh of Charity’s hips, causing Charity to jerk forward involuntarily.

 

Charity is burning up, and she can tell Vanessa is too.

 

”Should we…” Charity asks while letting her mouth travel up and down Vanessa’s throat, nipping lightly, delighting in the louder gasp. ”Should we stuff this bloody wedding and take this to our room?”

 

She leans back to look at Vanessa’s face. Her eyes have gone completely dark as she stares at Charity. Vanessa nods slowly.

 

—

 

They eventually crash into their tiny room after a walk back to the main building that took about thrice as long as it should have. They got distracted by each other on the way.

 

Charity flicks on one of the corner lights, It bathes the room in that welcoming warm glow. She looks back over at Vanessa, who is unbuttoning her coat and lets it fall off her shoulders. Charity grins at the eagerness and mirrors the movement, reveling in the way Vanessa’s eyes flutter over her body like a caress.

 

”Alright?” Charity asks, as she moves closer, kicking her shoes off in the process.

 

Vanessa nods, pulling Charity to her again. She’s still in her heels, making them almost the same height. She worries her lip between her teeth, and Charity can practically see the wheels turning in her head.

 

”Hey,” Charity says so softly she surprises even herself. ”Don’t be nervous. We can just see what happens, yeah? No pressure.”

 

Vanessa smiles then, the tension seeming to leave her at once. ”It’s a good kind of nervous, I think.” She kisses Charity in a way that leaves not room for interpretation. Soon she has Charity sat on the edge on the bed, as she pulls her own dress up slightly to straddle Charity’s hips. 

 

Charity feels like she is staring like an idiot, and wonders when she lost the upper hand in this seduction and was seduced herself. She really doesn’t care though, not when Vanessa’s mouth is trailing a hot path across her throat and clavicle, touching the zip at the side of Charity’s dress.

 

”Can I take this off?” Vanessa mumbles from where her mouth is buried in Charity’s neck. Charity just nods, and squirms out of the upper half of the dress as soon as Vanessa has the zip pulled down.

 

Now it’s Vanessa’s time to stare and Charity has to laugh at the awestruck expression on her face.

 

”Oh, shut up,” Vanessa mutters, her face flushing.

 

”Haven’t said a thing,” Charity retorts with a wink, and gathers Vanessa’s hand to her breast. Vanessa gasps and Charity feels her nipple pebble under Vanessa’s touch and the flimsy material of her bra. Vanessa’s hands on her feel wonderful and soon enough her bra is done away with too. She falls back onto the bed, pulling Vanessa down with her, letting her fingernails dig into Vanessa’s thighs. Vanessa gasps again and grinds her hips against Charity’s.

 

Charity fumbles with the zipper at the back of Vanessa’s dress. Vanessa’s lips and mouth are soft against Charity’s breasts and this is even hotter than she imagined. Charity feels her resolve to take back control crack and fade away. 

 

Vanessa’s hands are on her hips, pushing the hem of her dress upwards inch by torturous inch. ”I want to make you feel good.” Vanessa’s breath is warm against Charity’s ear and the words go straight between Charity’s legs. ”Will you tell me what you like?”

 

So few people have asked Charity that outright, people she liked and even loved, have rarely made the effort to ask such a simple thing. It makes Charity’s heart thud impossibly faster.

 

”Just touch me and I’ll tell you everything,” she pants. She doesn’t mean to seem so needy, but she’s so turned on now it’s bordering on painful.

 

Vanessa’s touch over her knickers is gentle and questioning at first. Another thing Charity isn’t used to, the care with which Vanessa is touching her, the way she doesn’t rush, but explores to find exactly what makes Charity tremble. 

 

”Take them off,” Charity asks, and the knickers are gone in a flash, Vanessa’s fingers returning, slipping quizzically against Charity.

 

”Charity,” Vanessa breathes. ”You feel amazing.”

 

She  _ is _ feeling amazing. Vanessa is much better at this than you would expect for someone completely new to it. Charity has been with plenty of people who hadn’t known what to do, but they’d all gone chasing their own pleasure. Vanessa is seeking out Charity’s and only hers. It feels incredible, this slow paced exploration and the way Vanessa responds immediately to any kind of feedback.

 

Vanessa soon figures out exactly how to touch Charity. The intensity grows and grows, much quicker than Charity expected. Soon Charity is crying out in unrestrained pleasure. Vanessa coaxes her through it, prolonging it until it’s too much and Charity has to push her hand away.

 

Vanessa’s hand rests on Charity’s ribs, caressing her soothingly while Charity tries to get her breathing under control. When Charity turns to look at Vanessa her own gaze still a bit blurred by the force of her orgasm.

 

”Alright?” Vanessa asks quietly. The look on her face is pure lust.

 

Charity can’t help but laugh at the question. ”Bloody spectacular, more like,” she pants, dragging her hair out of her eyes. ”Jesus.”

 

She allows herself a few more moments to catch her breath, before flipping them over, hovering over Vanessa. As her thigh falls between Vanessa’s, she feels the proof of Vanessa’s arousal smear her skin through the fabric of her knickers. Charity groans and rolls her hips and Vanessa’s whimper tells Charity even more about how much Vanessa needs this.

 

”For you too, judging from the state you’re in,” Charity whispers with a wicked smile.

 

”Charity…” Vanessa pleads, pulling Charity closer by the back of her neck. Charity doesn’t need more encouragement than that, and lets her lips drift across Vanessa’s throat, over her shoulders and downwards towards the edge of her bra. Vanessa writhes underneath her, and the thrill of it all is making Charity’s head spin. She’ll take her time with this, she decides.

 

As she reaches Vanessa’s navel, she can feel a hand in her hair, stopping her movements.

 

”You don’t have to do that,” Vanessa murmurs unconvincingly.

 

”I won’t if you don’t want me to,” Charity says, gracing her teeth against Vanessa’s hipbone, making her jump. ”I’ll just say that unlike most men, I’m actually good at it.”

 

Vanessa laughs breathlessly. ”Someone’s confident.”

 

”Got the proof to back it up, haven’t I.”

 

Something flashes over Vanessa’s face. She traces her fingers across Charity’s lips. ”Prove it, then.”

 

Charity reaches up to kiss Vanessa until the other woman is squirming underneath her. ”Oh, I will,” Charity promises. 

 

She is going to make sure this is a night Vanessa never forgets.

 

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr @blurryoz


End file.
